H

comfort in concrete

2009-07-06T11:05:00.000-07:00

alright since the last post, well a couple of interesting things happened in my life, not that anyone actually bothers about really.

lets start with the vacation. 26th june, friday. woke up 5am in the morning since flight was at 745am and we had to check in the terminal an our before the flight. i was on a vacation with my mom, 2 of my aunties, my uncle, my assistant manager and his wife; not the best of company. its been some time since i took a flight out of the country so i was a little excited. last i went was a trip to langkawi when i was 10? we got through security and customs and were free to roam inside the terminal. i wondered around the duty-free shop (DFS) where they had some different blends of dunhill cigarette not sold in the streets of singapore and of course my favourite lucky strikes. and it was cheap as fxck even for a carton. the one i saw wasn't really in a carton, rather in a huge cylindrical tin. pissed off i went to the free internet access station just to change my current facebook/myspace status at that time. after confirming our boarding passes, we had to wait while the flight attendants called out for people to enter according to their designated seats. meanwhile it was there when it showed on cnn that micheal jackson passed away. RIP. my turn came and i had a window seat. i was seated away from anyone i came with.

moments later, we were about to take off. i didn't know how it was gonna feel, whether i was going to throw up or panic. i guess a little fear struck me besides the anticipation. but everything turned out good except when i thought i felt that the engines were noticeably revved down and as though the plane was moving forward only by momentum. i could not sleep and the only thing i could do was stare out into the blank space or try to make out the cloud shapes since i did not bring my iPod along.

roughly an hour later we reached Soekarno-Hatta Airport in Jakarta, Indonesia. got a cab, a driver rather, to drive us off to Grand Hyatt somewhere in the heart of Jakarta. the trip took some time because of the consistent jam. plus, the hotel we were staying at was beside a round-about with a big fountain in the middle, a very strategic place where demonstrations and rallies were often held. there was a demonstation already before we got there. something about stopping slavery or abuse something like that. i left the flyer they handed out at the hotel. the demonstration lasted the whole day where a group of them held up signs that spelled out their cause and at night candles were lit up around them. other than that they handed flowers and notices out to the public. got to the hotel. checked in. checked the room out. had the room with a view of the on-going demonstration. non-smoking floor. smoking uncle. ^^

washed up and left for lunch. explored the mall. stupid high-end mall with louis vuitton, prada, armani exchange, tods, coach, burberry, franck muller and alot other stores like that. went down to the supermarket and got myself a pack of lucky strikes original lights and smoked away outside. returned back to the room when it started getting dark. and left for dinner at the grand club lounge at the hotel. everything was free flow. the food and the drinks. the alcohol also; absolut, red label, black label, jack daniels, henessy, smirnoff, wine and beer. the liquor just help yourself. pour out as much as you want. if the bottle empties, they'll take out another one. the beer in in the fridge just take out and drink; heineken and bintang. no comments. went back to room after that and waited for uncle to smoke in the toilet and come out while i got in and pretended to shower but actually smoke. hahaha.

over there, honking seems to be an everyday thing. you could not walk down the street peacefully without hearing horns honking; culture shock :/

the next day woke up early again and went to the lobby to wait for the driver who was gonna drive us to bandung. a very, very long drive. without cigarettes. speeding and overtaking. two-laned roads. visited a dormant volcano site. had organic strawberries and raspberries which were awesome. went shopping. had lunch. drove past a skate shop which sold macbeths footwear and apparently we couldn't stop because we had to be some place else. drove around somemore. had dinner. and the long drive back home with massive jams. smokes.

third day. stupidest plan ever. to see the rich peoples' houses and villages. can't elaborate much because i fell asleep in the van. finally went to a mall that has sogo in it. wondered around sogo and was stoked to find looserkids and macbeths in it. like not expected at all. nothing that suited me, really. walked around, had lunch. and another massive jam back to the hotel. finished my lights and bought lucky strikes original filters. smoked. sleep.

last day of vacation. just wondered the mall opposite the hotel. had lunch alone at pepperlunch. waited in hotel room. off to airport. checked in. starbucks. back to singapore.

relatively jakarta had nothing instore for a kid like me. krispy kreme was nice. sushi sucked. coffee soda was addictive; product of F&N beverage. late night HBO and MLB match between yankees and the mets throughout the stay kept me entertained. 1 out of 3 of my indonesian friends replied when i texted them. i texted him on the morning of the third day. he replied an hour before my flight back. did not get crooz clothings. the "ceweks" there are seriously (Y).

well maybe on my part i didnt look for it at the right places. shortage of time? i should try going there with friends next time. maybe i'll change my mind. just maybe. haha.

on a slighty heavier note. last thursday or friday, i can't recall, at 7:20am i was sleeping in my room. my room was next to a corridor on the tenth floor. i heard a commotion outside. i also heard my dad's voice talking to one of my neighbours. so i walked out in my boxers to see whats going on. everyone on the corridor was looking down. so i looked down at the pavement flooring beneath. i did not see anything except for a guy looking up. so i thought someone from above was attempting suicide. i asked my dad fo confirmation. he said to look down near the drains near our lift. so i did. and i saw a body posed in a D.R.I. stance with blood around it. i could not tell if it was a man or a woman but judging by the clothes it was someone old. obviously i was shocked but rather disgusted at thinking why would someone want to end their own life. i went back in and tried to sleep. but couldn't. i went back out and by then the body was already covered with white canvas and the cops already showed up. mom was already at work. so i just watched tv until i had to leave to meet my friends. it wasnt until 2 days after did i get a chance to talk with my mom about that incident. it turned out it was a 94 year old woman. jumped from the 18th story corridor. the police found her walking stick and keys by the ledge. the story was actually my dad was waiting for the lift at the ground floor. the lift arrived and my neighbour's son from the 12th floor went out while my dad got in. moments later a loud thud and the kid was traumatised and rushed back to the lift. luckilly the door had not yet closed and my dad had to bring him back up to his place. took him two hours to calm down. i was surprised she did not try to make stories about me coming home late and you get the drift~ but my block has been prone to suicide attempt. there's been a couple of cases whereby the police and civil defense have to turn up and even once where may dad had to talk it out with somone attempting to jump from our corridor ledge, only to see her at the opposte block the next day.

the clocks aren't ticking backwards

2009-06-04T08:21:00.000-07:00

there's some things i've been wanting to post but didn't have the time to. everytime a fire sparks inside i'll just extinguish it away with tolerance. everytime i'd get pissed over something i just tend to let it go. i'll just stay cooped up in my messy room. i'd become anti-social and interact less. cause i know if i voiced out my thoughts on hypocrisy among my friends, i'll just cause friction. like the saying goes "if you have nothing good to say, then say nothing". it'll just stir up intense moments when i know its just a phase. i try not to say things on impulse and regret doing so later on. i'm just gonna cause another dent in this friendship. and i don't want that. cause all the things i have, don't mean everything. not as half as much, as much as friendship means.

i'm gonna try to update on the things that happened in my life since my absence here.
starting from before the trip to kl, cause i can only remember from that day onwards.

15th may, friday. nerd, amirul, fahim, kurt and along with myself met up at bishan mrt cause we were gonna stay over at kurt's place befor the big trip the day after. we met up around 9 and headed to the skatepark to hang around before walking over to kurt's. watched some tv, online-d
played blind mice and smokes. besides kurt, the rest of us didn't sleep much. we had to be at lavender by 7. we got ready by 6 and in turn took power naps while waiting for the other to shower. at bishan mrt, we bid fahim and imran goodbye as they were gonna take the route from singapore - larkin - kl from kranji whilst we were taking the direct bus into kl. nerd accompanied us to golden landmark where we met up with break even minutes after arriving. a friendly and sociable bunch of guys especially mark. i was in-charge of getting the tickets that jai had booked.
the bus didn't seem that shabby, but it could have been better. haha. we got onboard the bus, occupied the back seats and were on our way to kl.

in the bus, none of us really slept. kurt was conversing with mark. amirul and me were too anxious to sleep. had a few laugh in the bus. one was where james placed chips on stefan's head only to suck it up and eat it while he was asleep. also, stefan had his hands down his pants while he was sleeping. the triped took longer than usual. around 5-6 hours. at first i thought it was because we were too eager but the clock didn't lie. damn malaysian customs. always with the long ques and my passport being too outdated.

upon reaching puduraya bus terminal, imran and fahim joined us as they waited for over an hour at the kfc opposite us. made a few phonecalls, and in less than 10 minutes, 4 cars came to pick us up. kenet, suqon, paly, manje, kazaa were there to pick us up. missed them alot. hahs! made our way to the venue, MCPA. hang around before taking the monorail to BB to have lunch. had some sushi and dr. pepper's. break even wanted to catch the first band so they left first whilst dean and syahmi accompanied us at McDs. we headed back and lurked around the merch stands. mark gave us free shirts in which he refused our money. met up and had a chat with some of my friends there; eleven, burnout, second combat, sb and dk kids. smoked like fxck. have heart still have yet to arrive. there were some complications causing their flight to be delayed. restraint got the crowd moving. joanna finally arrived, despite being the first to reach kl. 3 days earlier to be exact. break even had an early set. still, it was fxcking awesome. we still owed him 30 stagedives though. not bad since he wanted a hundred. haha. i almost fell asleep during burgerkill's set. i was at the back with the other, all about to doze off. have heart finally arrived. kotm's set was fxcking sick. have heart's set was fxcking crazy. stagedives and sing-alongs. "stage-potatoes".
to fxcking dive into a sea of crowd that will swallow you whole. intense moments. up to their last song, we asked for one more; they gave us three more. fxcking most memorable night of my life.

"after years of watching have heart on youtube, i finally got to see them live." - amirul

after the show, we didn't really have time to take pictures or hang around. we just had to get back to singapore. we didn't have a bus back booked yet. we just shook and thanked anyone who was insight. kurt, fahim amirul took a cab to puduraya. me and imran couldnt get a cab, so we walked there since the lady at the monorail said it was nearby from where we were. had to walk through alleys and chow kit night market to get there. took a double-deckered bus back for only rm40. the seats don't use levers to adjust them, instead switches. there was a tv for every seat. a game console and headphones were also provided. the bad thing about the bus was the tv weren't turned on and the lights were left on which meant it was irritating to the eye when we were about to sleep. nonetheless, we slept soundly due to tiredness. we stopped at a pitstop, i can't recall it's name, cold and hungry. we didn't have much malaysian ringit on us. kurt was the one left with all the malaysian currency. i was left with a hundred sgd. we went in and to our surprise, the malaysian kids were there too. what were the odds that we'd stop at the same pitstop and them arriving first despite us departing earlier than them. they had the whole bus to themselves and no one else. we had some stuff to munch on before resuming our trip back.

we got back into singapore around 4-5am. waited for the bus with the malaysian kids to arrive. step aside, hafiz nangke, nerd and rymie joined us in waiting. when they finally arrived, brought them over to the abc bacpackers lodge where final attack were. stayed there till morning and went home to get some well deserved rest.

woke up by a phonecall. got ready and made my way down to singapore arts museum, SAM.
had too much redbulls and shark energy to drink. ( it made my pee glowingly yellow as a result -_-) hanged out with the hoods and shared out kl experience. then came the most awesome part of my day. jai came over and asked me and a friend to go fetch have heart from their hotel room which was at YMCA just a walking distance from the venue. i brought kurt along, and we drove up to the hotel in rashid's car along with jai. we brought them subway sandwiches and jai left us with them in their room as he had to tend to matters back at the venue. seriously jai, we really appreciated what you did for us. it means alot to us. thank you. we didn't have markers for autographs or a camera with us and that didn't matter at that point. cause we were the lucky 2 kids to have hanged out with them and had a little chat. so it doesn't really bother me when some kid uploads a photo of himself with the band or shows off his autographed cd/shirt. i admit i didn't have a picture taken or a signature at least. but to me, what i experienced can't be compared to with a photo. no offence to those who do have pictures with them :) anyways, we brought them down to the venue. pat was struggling as he broke his toe. "ice-conversation". we left them there torest backstage.

"so it's like a Micheal but with an H? cool. i'd like to name my son that some day." - ryan briggs

the show started. overthrown was tight as always. crowd got moving. breakeven was still fxcking awesome. union of equals was something new. honestly, i've been listening to old school and just to hear covers of it being played live, i can only hope that the other kids would appreciate it as much as i have. just the way it was played just showed how diversed hardcore has grown into.
have heart? needless to say, it was intense. despite not having a stage, people found ways to get one on top another. the crowd was always pushing forward relentlessly despite being held back by the "bouncers". their set was not as long as it was in kl. but still everyone appreciated it.

"after years of watching have heart on youtube, i finally got to see them live. twice." - amirul

after the show, we had a little talk among us. emotions ran high. and i won't elaborate further. it wasn't enough cause some had to leave before their last bus left. i hope to continue this talk soon.

"why do you give a fxck about what they think? throughout the whole show, who was always there? who was all out in the crowd? it was us. it was +65hoods" - kurt

had supper at bencoolen. along with my malaysian friends. ego.

"super hardcore kids?" i still remembered what jai said to us after the show outside parklane. and i still hold on to it everytime they try to bring us down.

stayed over at the lodge again. this time with fajar, raymond, azri and the rest. had laughs. free internet. went home the next morning. came back in the afternoon to hang out before the show. had lunch. then went over to FAD media for the hardcore celebration show. really had fun at the show. its great seeing final attack again after a year, bloody rejects after being quiet for awhile. break even was needless to say fxcking awesome again. kotm's performance? go figure. i had to go home straight after the show cause i had school the day after. i missed a group photo. that happens everytime, even when with hereafter. i went back home and woke up late. since my mom was at home i had to fake going to school so i put on my uniform and wnet to hang out with final attack, step aside, jai and the malaysian kids while they were having lunch. some already left and took the morning bus back to kl. the rest stayed till the afternoon. jai, hafiz and asrizal sent final attack off at the airport. while i stayed on with the malaysian kids. brought them around bugis and had beancurd at bencoolen. around 5 they had to leave so we sent them off to queen's street bus terminal. bid goodbye to friends and everyone went their seperate ways back home.

the end.

this is just for memories sake now i guess. just to look back to relive those days.
sorry if i wasted half an hour of yours if you actually read this. it took me an hour and a half to type all this. 5 days to live it; 15th - 19th may.
next update? carpathian maybe? or when i'm really pissed. hahaha :D

still, nothing moves you

2009-04-26T06:15:00.000-07:00

well i guess i've been on hiatus pretty much the whole time since my last post.
i've been facing a couple of tough situations. some of my friends are fading away just cause some of them have issues in within my group so they decided they leave. since fred's bbq/birthday i happened to uncover some more stories and i really just want everyone to just set a date and come down just to talk. no shows, nothing. just talk as friends, what we disliked or had issues in the past with each other. i don't want any more backstabbing or shits. yesterday, despite all the rumours going around about a fight, it all turned out good. friendships were forged through tolerence i guess.
for now i just want an identification card, ez-link, passport and a couple hundred for a road trip to kl. it made my day when i heard about the "super hardcore kids" thing. i guess it made up all of my friends' day. sucks to be you "super hardcore kids" :D

afends

2009-04-06T07:03:00.000-07:00

Date: Apr 6, 2009 1:07 PM
Subject: hello malaysia and singapore!
Body: We need your help to find stores in your area !
do you know any good shops in malaysia or singapore?
send there details to us!

sales@afends.com

word

anyone?

dc

2009-04-04T09:50:00.000-07:00

i stand by my words and my friends. you guys treat it like a fad. seriously. your intentions are as good as anyone else's guess. but from what i've seen, its just for the sake of being "hard" and, or, to intentionally hit someone. you go in for all the wrong reasons. honestly have you ever once thought why am i doing this or why am i here? why am i "breaking down" when i don't know for shit what the song is about, or rather what message its trying to send out. whats the point of memorizing the lyrics of a song if its just for you to be able to "sing-along" and not be left out if its just for the sake of memorizing? start being fxcking real please.

ohhh. and if you think pushing me down would really get me worked up and maybe start a fire? well try harder chump. cause you got a facefull of me last week. :D

haikxl and raymond escape go to kl

2009-03-17T06:41:00.000-07:00

fxck the world. i can't be bothered with you pricks anymore. all i know is i'm really looking forward to the weekends cause i'm going kl again to catch straight answer and hang out with my friends from across the border. its feels that even my friends here seem to grow apart from each other, due to each others' "creative differences". we're not as tight a bunch as we used to be. sigh. enough. *refresh* its like for the past 2 weeks im spent my weekends in malaysia and this would be the third for the month. i really need cash for the trip. so i'm saving up. only the two of us will be going. going on friday. back on tuesday.

so, thus begin the mini-adventures of...

Haikxl and Raymond

Go To Wendy's
Go To A&W
Go To Ben&Jerry's
Go To SS2 (if they drive us there)
Camwhore at KLCC
Camwhore at Pavilion
Smoke Till Dead
Hanging out with Friends

its gonna be different cause its just gonna be the two of us. cause i'm so used to going there in a group. well a small group actually. but its all good. we're gonna have so much fun. but where were you? haha. and thank you azimah for lending us the camera for the trip. i promise to guard it with my life. yay KL. cheap ciggs! wooo!

on a sidenote, to those who happened to "blog-hop" here and left a few remarks on my tagboard, keep on hopping. if you go in the right directions and persevere, you just might find others who are "harder than me". thats all im gonna say.

Fight Global Warming

2009-03-02T07:10:00.000-08:00

okay the day started out like this.

friday, 27th feb.
the plan was to meet at woodlands mrt at 2pm. and i had school till 12pm. so i figured i'd bring along my baggage to school and hang around there cause i was supposed to meet ryemie before i went for the trip. so i did went to school. except it finished at 11 instead of 12. we just came to school to take stupid photos of each other in preparation for the photoshoot on the 6th of march at the botanic gardens. then ryemie couldnt meet me cause he still had a paper left; common tests. so went home instead and online till like one plus. then left for woodlands. met ryemie first. then came hanif and raymond. then rico. and finally joanna. and an added bonus taz was there. so we hang around and talk about stuffs on our mind. it was already 3 before made our way for larkin. took 170 smoothly. no jams or anything. the new customs quite big and grand. reached larkin, changed currencies, bought ciggies and got tickets to kl. i don't remember which agency we took, but i remembered clearly that there was a phrase on the front of the bus that said "Cepat Sedia" which meant something like "Stead Fast" or something. we occupied the back of the bus cause only the cool kids sit at the back. ahaha. there were only five of us but we occupied like seven seats from 2 rows. talk, laughed, slept and ipod-ed all the way to puduraya. we left larkin at 5 and reached kl at 8.45. walked over to A&W to grab a bite and the infamous root beer floats, before walking to the Bukit Bintang District to look for a lodge. our lodge was right beside the venue for where they had bridging oceans IV.

saturday, 28th feb.
we checked in the lodge. and got a room with 3 double-decks. i slept on the top bunk just beneath the air-con unit. hanif was beneath me. we slipped into something more comfortable and hang around at the lodge's living room. ohhh. it was a three story lodge. and we were the only one occupying the 3rd floor. smoked like there's no tomorrow. everyone with different packs.
raymond-sampoerna. me-lucky strikes. rico-camel filters. jo-winston lights. and i bought 2 cigars. jo bought a bottle of vodka. i didnt drink. so we chilled and watched i survived a japanese game show in black and white 14 inch television. before finally leaving to explore the nightlife at BB. we walked around. took typical pictures like at the pavillion. but wasted not at the twin towers. "went" to a sick club in a mall. seriously it was fxcking cool. and the bass was thumping.
then we went to a coffee shop where we "coincidentally" bumped into restraint. had drinks there; neslo and nescafe. then we headed back to KFC where raymond, rico and hanif had supper. then just as we were about to leave. kenet walks in the door. greeted everyone and took us to the van where suqon and manja were waiting. we got in and left for SS2. reached there and made our orders. we mainly drinked alot. we ordered "lily", "i love you", "pink panther", "ice kopi gajah", "neslo gajah" and "watermelon gajah". the ones with gajah were ridiculously fxcking huge and cheap. hahaha. chilled and they drove us back to the lodge. which was fxcking cold by then. slept and was supposed to wake up by 10 cause checkout at 12. but me (i jumped of the bed and fell cause my legs were cramping up) and rico woke up at 7 went out and smoked a cigar before taking a shower. which we both went back to sleep. rico slept back in the dorm while i fell asleep outside watching tv. when everyone woke up and was done showering, we made our way to bukit bintang plaza. had breakfast there. went window-shopping with rico. then when about to walk back from sungei wang plaza we bumped into motivation.

haha. long story cut short. they thought we were melaka kids. they were looking for new balance shoes. we ditched them. we went off to maharajalela by monorail. walked to MPCA. hang about till the show started. left our bags under the merch stands. went "shopping". enjoyed the whole show. best sing-along like by Naratu - "PUKIMAK KAU! BABI ANJING! BERANI KAU MENIPU AKU!". then after the show was the most stressful moment for all of us. because most of us were left with singapore dollars, there were no opened money changers, there was no monorail service, we were tired, we were hungry, there were no more busses to larkin and there was no ciggies left. but thankfully to the kl kids, they managed to fit us in their cars, even though seperated. so we started our journey to Pasir Gudang. all of us left at different times and in different cars. i was with suqon(driver), manja and his "awek", and zul. we drove to a hotel at bukit bintang where a few more joined the convoy. i fell asleep and when i woke up we were out of kl at at some rest stop somewhere. i was walking around then saw rico and hanif but jo and raymond werent around. so we sat and had supper. and bought rm5 dunhill king size ciggies from burnout vocals. went back in the car and drove off. fell asleep and woke up at another rest stop. this time there were only 3 cars. all of us got out and goofed around. we did warm ups and it was funny as fxck. neck and hip rotations. and stretches only for the driver. hahaha.

sunday, 1st mar.
we all met just after the toll booths. there were eleven cars in total. and we started making our way to Pasir Gudang. the car i was in was at the front. so suqon flashed the hazard lights. and slowly so did every car at the back. it was so cool. haha. then like out from the right a cop car appeared and everyone stopped. we went to limbong's brother's house to rest.all went to sleep then took a shower. at around 5 went off to rookies to catch the show. had fun. hafiz nangke appeared out of nowhere. watched somone got sabotaged with eggs and flour because it was his birthday. after the gig kenet, limbong, ejat, his "awek" and us took the van to larkin. it was cramped as fxck cause motivations stuffs were in it. the rest went to danga bay to skate. hafiz stayed over at his relatives' house there. i tried to thank everyone before we left.

monday, 2nd mar.
we reached larkin and thanked kenet and limbong and heard a funny story. headed over to macs. took the last SBS bus back into singapore. while in the bus discussed ways on how to hide the ciggies. reached singapore at 1am. hang out somewhere near customs. laughing throughout. then wanted to make our way from customs to raymonds place which was at yishun.we walked to causeway point then somewhere in between woodlands and admiralty we just chilled and waited till the bus and train services resumed. then went back home. knocked out till 6pm. and when i went online i came back to this shit. arguments at my tagboard. but im really fxcking happy that your demise uploaded a new song. and their sound is abit different but the meanings are about the same.

tuesday, 3rd mar.
okay. i guess that there's just a fxcking big misunderstanding on all of our part. and come saturday i wanna talk things out.

about face

2009-02-21T21:05:00.000-08:00

those words now mean nothing.
to fall back on your words and go against what you believed in.
you lost sight. what were you thinking.
the desicions you made. you left us behind.
forgotten our struggles we went through in the past.
making the decisions without consulting your bandmates.
unity? whats unity when you're the only one fighting for it.
so it means you're the one representing the whole lot of us?
to ditch your true friends just to hang out with new friends.
to see my friends cry because of you.
to use the term dissapointing and never expected him to turn out this way.
as a friend, i'm neither criticizing nor saying that i'm right.
but this is just the way i see it. i've yet to hear it from you.
we didn't get to talk last night. so if you read this i hope you'd approach me.
cause i wanna clear things out so we could be like bestfriends like before.

arrogant cunt

2009-02-14T09:12:00.000-08:00

short update.
three gigs in a row.
bruises in random places.
sore throat and dry coughs.
one more show left later on.
monday rest.

college west

2009-02-11T22:56:00.000-08:00

say out the color, not the word.

red green blue yellow purple
orange red blue white yellow
green yellow purple blue red
blue blue blue blue blue red

hahaha. picked that up while at ITE Dover for a motivational talk. apparently its the only college in the west that can seat 500 people. didn't have that problem while at simei. during the talk, it was like a battle of the hoods, between amk and bb students. they were cheering whenever their college was mentioned. then when it ended, bus was late and our class was held back. we asked our class advisor for permission to go for a smoke break. he allowed to our suprise. just don't get caught. we got caught by dover's lecturers. nothing happened. ironic considering we got caught smoking at the front gate of the school earlier in the morning at bb before class started.

bitterness will prevail

2009-02-11T05:21:00.000-08:00

i am in no way going to change myself. i stand up for what i believe in. not everyone is going to accept you just because you're my friends' friend. i don't know you and i may not necessarily have to like you . thats how i work. i know that unity is something that we're fighting for. but what is unity without trust and respect. its just a fake front we're putting up, claiming to be united when secretly we hold grudges, aren't we. so why fake it?

hahaha. i havent been put through nothing. except the criticisms coming from where i was before.
i've proved to myself and my friends that im here and i'm staying. and i've nothing else to prove.
prick.

and yet these are just my opinions, not the truth.

Burnt Tongues Video Shoot

2009-02-10T07:10:00.000-08:00

Saturday 7th March @ 16:00 - 20:00 (4pm-8pm)

The Pioneer: ST ALBANS

TRAIN - The Pioneer is 15 mins walk from St Albans station. St Albans station is on the same line as ST PANCRAS/KINGS CROSS station. So all you have to do is travel to Kings Cross and get the train along.

DRIVING - The Pioneer is in the heart of St Albans, Just on the outskirts of town. St Albans has junctions on the M1, M25 and A1. So so easy to get to.

PARKING - There is sufficient and free safe parking ALL DAY on the premises

ADDRESS - Heathlands Drive, Harpenden Road, St Albans, Herts AL3 5AD

THE PIONEER - The Pioneer is a venue that every St Albans/Watford band started out playing from Enter Shikari to Sikth, From Your Demise to Cry For Silence, From Flatline to Subversion....?! It's a place real close to our hearts and is only just starting to get it's feet back off the ground and re-generating itself once again into the greatest venue in St Albans which it always has been. Treat it with respect, please don't bring any booze inside, no smoking obvs, any bullshit or fighting and seriously... At any cost to save this venue, we'll all get vietnam, gulf war, world war two and the battle of hastings on your arse... It's a fucking rad place, it's gonna be an awesome day.

We hope to have TONNES of people along for what will be a fucking mental and fucking awesome day!!!

DESCRIPTION - Basically the theory is as simple as this, you have to come along and go FUCKING MENTAL. We're putting 'Blood Stays on The Blade' to absolute shame. This is going to be the "LIVE" part of our video, with the rest of recording having hopefully already been filmed. We'll be running through BURNT TONGUES a few times and quite possibly play as many other new songs as we can. We really want to get a show atmosphere out of this and there will be the possiblity that we may end up playing. Who Knows. We'll see. All you need to do for the time being is bring yourself along and as many of your mates too with a fuck load of cans of relentless so you're bouncing off the walls. It's still not too late to sign people up to the mailing list and get them along too...

MERCH - We'll have our merch there too just in case... Ya Know... ;)

ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
i don't give a fxck. will do anything for flight tickets to saint albans, UK. :(

you fxcking prick

2009-02-05T03:21:00.000-08:00

it's been a long time since i last posted. so well i'm back and i'm gonna post about something thats been bothering me much lately. well more of an irritant rather.

i have an issue with people changing. changing not for themselves but to fit in. cause you have friends who are different from most kids and you want to be one of them. so you start off by changing the way you dress. buy a pair of dickies, a fitted new era cap. then you start asking us what bands are what genre and then you forget where you came from; the kind of music you liked before. you look down on people who listen to mainstream shits cause you're now underground.
then you go to shows. monkey see monkey do. then you start "conversations" with the bands on myspace. BS-ing with them in hopes they'll recognize you and make you a part of them or at least you can show off to your friends that those bands have your back. then you simply walk around like you're the head of the pack. well fxck you. i can't be bothered with pricks like you. and if you ever step over me or my friends' heads, i'll be fxcking coming down on you.

this song should fxcking suit you

Strike hard, Strike first.
No mercy.
2 months in your newest crew, trends are changing and so are you.
Trade in everything you ever had for what's the newest fad.
Shut your mouth.
Take a good listen,
Write this down.
This is your next lesson.
No matter what, what your fashion,
show your heart through your actions.
In the end where do you stand?
Is this all to impress the bands?
In the end where do you stand?
You're preaching something you don't know.
Just doing it for the show.
In the end, where do you stand?

well, this is my point of view. one half of the story. sorry if this post screams "negative" but i can't help myself. i'm just calling it the way i see it. truth.

a weak

2009-01-07T05:15:00.000-08:00

fxck. so much for the posts below about me quitting. i did manage to keep it up for a week but when i went to school just now to register and get uniforms, a fight broke out and i got really stressed and it was like you could smoke in the canteen and no one cares.

seriously i feel dissapointed and know that i've let a few of my friends down. its like all hyped up for it then over a small thing i break. i regret what i did just now. i don't think i'll be quitting any sooner . probably give me 3 months. of which i'll be cutting down and not smoking excessively. i won't smoke infront of you guys. and try my best not to behind you.

sorry.

x2009x

2009-01-01T06:54:00.000-08:00

okay. how fxcking ironic is that the last day that i would smoke i got caught by my uncle who referred me to my parents? then because of that i couldn't leave home and missed the gig. ahh well. theres still another one tomorrow. spent new year with my truest of friends. emotional moment for everyone i guess.

now some issues have been clarified. others still remain. we'll see what happens next.

31 december 2008

2008-12-30T10:17:00.000-08:00

i got back the interview results from the davp course from college east and i was unsuccessful. i was already disheartened then i had to show it to my mom and she just said well, apply for another course then. i could tell, though she didn't show it, she was very dissapointed. and i hate to make her feel that way. i had a good feeling about the interview, it went well despite me being late, because i thought there was a queue, in the end it was a line for another course. then had to reapply again. there were only 9 courses left with vacancies. out of all, i only found interest in multimedia as it was my previous course, but it was only available at bukit batok and bedok. so i only applied for those 2. i guess if i don't get in i'll have to wait for the april intake then. while waiting i'll resume work again.

2 thousand 9 hasn't even started but already i carried on the troubles from 08'. seriously i regretted doing what i did and my lack of interest for school. fxck.

24

2008-12-26T22:26:00.000-08:00

two thousand eight is coming to an end. overall, it's a fxcked up year for me. school, friends, family, scene and alot of other issues. i'm glad another chapter is almost over.

next year, my resolution is to quit smoking, stop drinking and never do drugs - substance free youth

reason- i've seen how lucky i've been not to get caught by my parents, for being underage and, sometimes, for holding contrabands i'd bring in from malaysia, for over a year. it's an expensive habbit i think i can no longer afford. sometimes it really gets to you. like keep asking from friends for a stick or resort to picking up leftovers from trashbins. most importantly i don't wanna let my parents down and dissapoint them. i have to break free.

- straight edge not just a title, we keep it in our hearts and write on our hands.

2 THOUSAND FXCKIN' 9
REPRESENT!

your demise

2008-12-25T05:50:00.000-08:00

"we don't worry, there's enough of us
and i'm round here like yet another sitting duck"

what the fxck. i don't have heart of passion? just another wanker? fxck. from "your" scene to another? well , the other scene is hardcore thank you very much. its something much real and something i can relate my life to. its something i take pride in. passion comes from the heart. "dislike the things but still go there"? you mean your shows? its because i thought we were friends and friends don't ditch each other just because they're from different scenes. friends be there no matter what, to support. and i never declared anything about the scene i was from. i was just talking about you guys.

you guys have been through what longer than me? the scene? what scene may i ask? yeah their way of life i really adore. cause its fxcking true. not fxcking plastic. i stay true to myself to my friends. what the fxck do you mean i'll kick your crew? we were never a crew and never will be. just a group of friends who has each others back. my ego? what ego damnit? its called pride. hardcore pride.

it's on

2008-12-24T00:50:00.000-08:00

FXCK THOSE WHO OPPOSE!

fanatic

2008-12-21T12:51:00.000-08:00

to support the scene and being in the scene are two different things. thats all i have to say.

fxck. how fxcking naive are you that you don't check yourself and think i'm referring to someone else? its your fxcking self. its you.

fxck fiends

2008-12-21T12:42:00.000-08:00

you two-faced fxcks! i thought we were friends, and you go talking behind my back of how much i am of an embarrassment to you when i'm around. how i ruined your reputation. so fxck, you brought me into the music scene. YOUR music scene. now i found what i really love. so it doesn't matter. you may brought me into deathcore scene but i found my way to hardcore. so don't fxcking talk shit about me to my friends again. i controlled the pit? what the fxck does that even mean? don't ever think i'll be there for you guys again. you fxcking fakes. and don't bother to try and reach me cause i don't have a phone anymore and stop pretending infront of me cause i know you're fxcking plastic. and till now i thought we were friends. well it seems i was more of a burden.

keep it real

2008-12-19T23:16:00.000-08:00

this post goes out to all those kids out there who thinks of changing themselves, in terms of the way they live their life, the way they dress up and the music they listen to, just because they have a group of friends who are different. firstly you're not changing yourself, you're just trying to fit in; to be one of them. now, personally, if i knew your background and you're into ska or other genres and you enjoy skanking or whatever and suddenly when you're introduced to a new group of friends, you leave whatever you had and start acting like you're one of us; thats just fxcking stupidity. i mean why do that? i can tell if a kid really has heart or just in it for the fad. it just fxcking irritates me when you keep asking me stuff about hardcore, knowledge, gigs and the most irritating is what genre is this band and any band to recommand? then you go off blasting your music off infront of me. what the fxck man. other than that i don't see you around. i mean i grew up myself. just having friends guide me along the way. found out bands on my own. literally independent. i'm not saying this cause im a big fxck in any way, its just i'm voicing out what i think and really feel about these kind of kids whom some of them were friends. if you, in any way, feel affected by what i just posted, my myspace link is in the fourth tab. thanks.

seriously im fxcking upset about this.

bridgin fxckin oceans IV

2008-12-18T05:05:00.000-08:00

so BO4 started out for me on the 12th december. the plan was meet joanna and raymond that night, bus down to larkin and get a cheaper bus to kl from there. however, there was a change of plan and i was stuck alone. luckily i was still in singapore and that afternoon i was with kurt and fhamy. they were helping me out in planning my way there. then after much thought, i left for the ktm at outram park at around 630. reach there around 7plus. next train 10pm and there are no seats left. like what the fxck. then thought about bloody rejects trip there. getting a cab around the area was also fxcked up. finally got one and cabbed down to golden mile. its like 8 and BR's bus was at 830. walked up and down the lane of travel agencies looking for familiar faces. bumped into kismer who was just about to get her tickets. luckily there were about three seats vacant. waited around for the rest of the band to come. then waited around for the bus. it got delayed and we departed at 9. traffic was smooth. and it stopped at a place for us to go and have a quick bite and a toilet stop before the straight journey to kl. bought lucky strikes^^ sat around and smoked till the bus driver called everyone up. hairiel and me didn;t sleep throughout the journey. i was on my ipod and he was on his psp. reached kl about 2am. stopped at berjaya times square instead of puduraya cause zul was waiting for us there. throughout our stay there, zul was like our tour guide/ chauffeur/ entertainer/ host. and he was a good one as well. the five of us - me, hairiel, kismet, debbie, moon, squeezed into his car and he drove us around. like heritage street; clubbing area. he then drove us back to his apartment where we would stay. we had a quick wash up and he drove us to this place - Asian Cafe, to have supper. its like our lau pa sat. there's all sorts of food there. i had steak, pasta and a huge watermelon juice. and it was like fxcking cheap. reasonable price for quality food. BR had pizza and beer. once all finished drove back to his place wher we stayed awake watching malaysia's indian channel -.- don't ask why, till like 7am. the guys slept outside on air mattresses and sofas while the ladies slept in zul's room. woke up at 11. got changed left the place around 1230 cause apparently girls take a long time to get dressed. throughout the drive to the venue i was looking at my watch because second combat was first band up and their slot was supposedly to start at 1. got lost in the area looking for the venue. i thought i missed second combat but when i went in, hereafter was having their soundcheck. so like happy uhh. met them, talked awhile then had lunch with BR at some indian stall. joanna and raymond also arrived. met imran there. gig start... bla circle pits bla sing alongs bla two step bla breakdown bla smoke. ehhem, burn people. haha. apparently kl kids don't run they take two steps. kinda fxcked up that local(malaysian bands) only could play 3 songs. back on track didn't get to play. so did xelevenx and furthermore it was their ep release party. bought a couple of merch. after the gig had dinner, went back to zul's place to freshen up, talk about singapore's scene back in the days and up till now then left for rashid(overthrown's roadie) hotel to drink. there was wine, beer, tequila, ciggarettes and cigars. some funny stuff happened there involving hairiel and beer bottles. shared funny stories about rashid's nursing background. then me hairiel and zul had to go on a trip in search of playing cards, tsingtao beer, lime juice, different pack of ciggerettes and ramly burgers. zul brought us to some sort of chinatown red light district near pudu in search of a supermarket. along the way windows rolled down, ciggarette in hand and trance and house music blasting out of the subwoofers. haha cool or what? gays and whores lined the streets. finally after getting all that we needed, an hour later, they stopped to go to 711 to get zul's pack of smokes, they left me in the car alone. from where they were they couldnt see the car which i was in, the doors were unlocked and the windows were down. (Y) so i took zul's night stick - which was really fun to play with. drove off. played cards, drink some more then headed back to crash. woke up the guys left for breakfast and get the tickets back from puduraya. bought donuts and subway. met up with the rest and debbie - ohh, debbie left us after the gig to stay with dean (kotm) and waited for the bus back home. really sad to leave zul. really miss him. he liked played emotional malay songs while he drived us to our bus. took the 830 back home. the bus company was a fxcktard. ditched us at singapore customs. it just reached singapore and did a u-turn back into malaysia. it was supposed to send us back to golden mile complex. we were quite pissed. hitched another coach to queen's street. 5bucks each - corruption money. bid goodbye and cabbed back home.

kl was fxcking awesome. really enjoyed myself there. smoked till i think i got stage 3 cancer. wooo! long post or what? what a comeback -.-

my demise

2008-12-03T01:22:00.000-08:00

FXCK FXCK FXCK!
delay delay delay. now no more size. FXCK!

sigh. its okay. the red outbreak and the three other your demise shirts will make up for it.
too bad there isnt a smiley for a half happy - half dissapointed face. -.-

you're scum

2008-12-02T08:46:00.000-08:00

this post is for the hardest kids on friendster.
introducing LunniE SCeneEx.
he's not the only one out there. there are tons more.
and don't forget to checkout TeenagersRawrr! (ex-Singapore Scene Kids SSK)
keep it hardcore uh guys. take care.

ahhh! who am i kidding? YOU'RE SCUM.

BO4

2008-11-30T01:00:00.000-08:00

okay so i'm going if my mom releases my passport. and if you guys wanna go with bloody rejects hit me up online or when you see me.

true

2008-11-29T09:28:00.000-08:00

so i guess everything is resolved now. i guess you guys are my true friends.

fxck off

2008-11-26T09:47:00.000-08:00

back to stay the fxck away from me / independent mode again.
shirts here, stoked! getting more.

down to nothing

2008-11-25T10:05:00.000-08:00

betrayed by many. commited to few.

probably something i'd stand by.
urghh, fxck insecurities.

friends

2008-11-23T13:13:00.000-08:00

truth fom my heart.
i am an angry kid at heart. angry at all the unfairness, the stupidity, the bullshit life is putting me through. issues that my friends have that i can relate to. all the friendships that i've had brought me no where, not in terms of being famous or having a name, in a sense that what we have is true. the bonds we forged through our struggles. the fact that we'd have each others back. right now this friendship just doesn't seem sincere. friends come and go. friends who left for fame. friends who left because they dislike you. friends who can't stand you. friends who met better friends. friends who felt they were unappreciated. friends who felt left out. friends who just vanished. it just upsets me and i'm left with the choice of sticking to different groups. friendship between two groups doesn't affect you if one group has issues with the other. it doesn't want you to take sides. instead you are the solution. talk things out. unity. i've got issues too, its just that i don't show it. thats why i'm carefree when i'm out with friends, thats why i let all my anger out at shows. if you got issues don't take it out on your friends. don't take it out on me. cause i can't be fxcking bothered anymore. its fine if you wanna share your problems, talk things out, but don't show your attitude, your anger, towards me and expect me to pity you and walk up to you and ask "is everything all right?" please, my world doesn't revolve around you and so does yours. thats just fxcking self-centered and downright selfish. i guess all these years i may have been taken advantage of, only god knows; if there is even one.

i guess thats all. friends?

music

2008-11-20T10:40:00.000-08:00

haha. lmfao. i saw inflict's myspace video where i sang along ahaha. kecoh. then break. ahaha. then overthrown's noisy november pics. tomorrow's chill luh maggs. and listen to StraightFoward on their myspace.

Golden X

2008-11-19T06:52:00.000-08:00

we wanna focus on some main issues the scene of today has. lack of commitment, lack of dedication, lack of unity! we say what we think and we don’t give a fuck if you like it or not. We love this shit and noone can take this away from us. THE ONLY THING THAT REALLY MATTERS IS US - THE KIDS!

as by Golden X, EuroEdge

AVA

2008-11-15T08:04:00.001-08:00

quote "we're the first hardcore band to play the esplanade recital studio"
kau boleh ISAP dalam dalam uh.

yes, i'm angry cause i lost my tag of stuffs that i hang with my keys at my waist. fuck.

national library

2008-11-14T01:00:00.000-08:00

you got your EVEN RUDER. i got my Bridging Oceans IV and MYHC Fest.

So...... UP YOURS!
except i'd lave to take a longer train ride then you mrt taking pussies.

sorry, mengamok sendiri.

a week

2008-11-13T07:12:00.000-08:00

i don't know why some images are fxcked up. probably of the lighting from my flash wasn't working cause i found out today the battery was weak. maybe the film. maybe the lens. i don't know. waste of cash. but nevermind i'll persist and still continue to take pictures. got 2 more rolls to develop. and my hair is fxcked up too.

fxck!

Mega Mac Bullshit

2008-11-12T00:56:00.000-08:00

okay im at braddell macdonalds. waiting for my mom actually for her to come and pass me money to cut my hair. yes, i am THAT cheap. haha. crew cut or what? like back in those days. my hair has become an irritant in my life. and im severing all ties to it. literally. haha. my manager keeps insisting i trim it. then also i developed a roll of film. i dont know whether it was the chalet/OCH/sentosa/HCHC or the gig/friends one. anyways i'll get it back tomorrow. find out tomorrow then.
i also just ordered a couple of shirts online. total cost 155 for four shirts -.-
and also to comment on the Mega burgers promotion macdonalds' are having. its total shit! like the bread at the bottom tears into two cause you'd have to compress it when you wanna bite it. Mega Mac. dissapointment. and the Mega Mcspicy, FTW? isn't it just a regular Mcspicy Double before?
i'm having hogher hopes about BK's stack burgers. but all time (Y) is Carl's Junior.

Fuck You Ronald!

LionCity

2008-11-10T08:50:00.000-08:00

Fuck. Do you even know me? My Friends? Then why judge us? We don't wanna join your crew, your family. All we want is your acceptance. To accept who the fuck we are. Not to look down on us. Not to stare us down at shows. Not to listen to your sarcastic remarks. Not to talk behind our backs. You cant judge a kid from his clothes and how he two-steps. It's whats in his heart that matters. Like a boy who depends on his parents to grow up. To have role models to mould him into a responsible adult in his future so that he could have his own family and teach it to his own son. Just like that is what kids need you guys for. They depend on your support, your guidance. How can the kid grow up on his own in the scene. Fuck. You talk about unity? Where's the proof? No one is more hardcore. Thats just fucking bullshit you believe in. You guys are supposed to guide the new kids, introduce them to bands, let them listen to old school, teach them whatever knowledge about hardcore you have; about the scene. Not to keep it to yourself then when you see a kid then just sound him. Okay fine, you segregate yourself away from these new kids. You leave them on their own. Let them grow up on their own. Don't you think they'll do the same to the kids after them. Soon after there won't be a LCHC because of this shit. All because the new kids are sick and tired of your fucking bullshit. Unite. It would be best for the scene. All the kids, old-timers and the new generations, going to shows together. Play alongside each other. Keep the scene alive. Fuck all your tough guy bullshit. Leave it in your music. Don't take it out on the kids. Keep the hardcore scene here positve. Leave all the negativity to the music you make and the moshpit.

Standing In The Ashes

You lest us all for dead.
Standing in the ashes of a world you've destroyed.
All we want is a chance to grow.
A chance to be something more.
CRUSHED, BLEEDING
LEFT TO DIE.
You can try to take us all.
But we still survive.
Fueled by anger
And our strong minds.
You can try to stop us but we won't back down.
We won't follow suit and fall in line.

Thats all i got to say. Friends.

lucky strikes sentosa?

2008-11-07T07:01:00.000-08:00

aite. short update.

last tuesday(4th), had an outing to sentosa. met up with kurt at J8. then proceeded to vivi where we met up with dan, naem, nerd, norah, rym, fhamy and rico at vivo's roof. then paid children's entrance fee for the monorail. headed down to siloso beach. nearest to rasa sentosa beach resort. weather wasn't very welcoming. dark clouds. kurt brought along a four-man tent; without water-proofing. (Y) xPinoyx. we had a little fun in the sea thanks to rico and dan's regular BSs.

here's an example.

Dan : Crikey! This one here is a huge one *points at kurt* from africa of jamaica. ohh! gorgeous its a straight-edge one too!
Rico : Beautiful! *reaches hand out to kurt* its a mak saleh celup one. (translation: fake white guy)
Kurt : *grabs rico's hand*
Rico : ahhh! its got me. its gonna do it's death roll. *rolls around spastically in the water*

summary.
bought a slurpee, 2 two free mars bars (;
found food when it was raining, cold and hungry; jelly, apollo biscuits, wasabe nut thingy.
found frisbee on the way back to tent.
found an adidas volleyball in 711.
found a trolley load of sprite, 100 plus and mineral water. all buried in ice. just beside ouer tent.(thinks it belongs to the hotel) can't believe no one found it and it took me that long to find it.
mosquito fest.
thonned instead of going to work the day after.

now got trust issues with my parents again.
so they confiscated my celly cell again -.-"
hit me up online or find some other way to do so.

xVHx

2008-10-25T11:45:00.000-07:00

*meltsxzx

M4R

2008-10-24T08:25:00.000-07:00

fourtwoseventhreetwosixseventhree pride

2008-10-02T10:14:00.000-07:00

okay. i think thats it for me. enough raya. only been two days. still got a couple more people out there to visit i think but i'm so tired.

got some cash. nerd's spending it on merchs. i thought of it too. dah confident. nak beli seeyounexttuesday, champion, tenyardfight, carryon, attackattack, iwrestledabearonce and knights of the abyss. dah add to cart. then part payment. zang! not because not enough cash. not because of shipping fee. because i don't fvcking know how to pay by paypal. believe me i tried. then what they don't accept DBS accounts; you have to wire them. what the fxck. sakit hati. nerd xmu ajar me how. (Y) nerd. _|_

then watch youtube videos. more sakit hati. why cant bands like them came down singapore. and bring along loads of fxcking merchs?

in terms of music sense, i think i've matured and now able to accept more kinds of genres that once i used to make fun of. just to think that because i'm a certain type of person i only have to listen to my kind of music and fxck yours. i'm no longer that. if i don't find interest in your music i'll just keep shuts. no point making fun of it.

serious shits. i think i've changed. music sense. go figure. though i wont forget my roots.

forgive. but never forget.

2008-09-30T14:20:00.000-07:00

Selamat Hari Raya | Happy Children's Day

yessssss. its a day for pedos to be happy about.
young boys and girls in colourful clothes.
plenty of opportunities there.

okay sorry for not making sense.

anyways. since i'm a little in the raya mood. i'd errrgh. k talk melayu.

kepada sesiape yang saya telah salahkan. (doesnt sound right but you get what i mean)
saya ingin mengambil masa untuk meminta/memohon maaf.
saya harap kamu pun maaf kan saya.

argggh. fxck that.

to those of you who i may have done wrong to unintentionally or maybe with some intent, to those i talked about behind their backs (not my true friends; i'd never report strength behind you) those who i labelled "wankers" and stuff. i hope you find it somewhere deep within your heart to forgive me. to those who still have conflicts please try to talk it out. i don't think anyone of you have done wrong to me. either that or i don't remember. but its all forgotten and in the past. lets lookxforward! to the years ahead. ahaha.

to brocores.
bile nak gathering? haha

casey jones

2008-09-27T20:53:00.000-07:00

okay.on the 24th of september at around 22:45, i received a phone call.
i was at shell's 7-11 near my place; buying slurpee and hello pandas.

here's how the conversation went.

me : hello?
caller : Hello! Ini KC memanggil dari RIA 89.7 adakah saya sedang berbicara bersama haikalhaikel?
me : *silence
"KC" : hello?

i put down the call. two things running through my mind. either zang, or its really him in which i don't really know why he would call as i have no relations with ria whatsoever. i don't owe you money or shits. also, i wouldn't think i would have a proper malay conversation with him and whatelse if he asked me to request a song. malay and mainstream x bagus. hah! but i don't know why he said haikalhaikel. must be one of my fucktard friends. so after much thinking which took 5 minutes, i wanted to reply "wtf?" but feared it was the real kc so i replied "ftw?" instead (:

anyways, here is "his" number.
91413832

balik on radio. check0check its kc's segment-_-" hangar.
haha. kc aku x layan. casey jones, yesssssssss.

i'm angry. angry that my baju raya is orange. isn't it enough that my secondary school's colour was orange? so every softball training i went down to, there was some orangeness in my shirt. or that i was a councillor and that all the camp tees are orange. and its not even those bright, cheerful orange. its pale and ergghh. think it goes well with orange nike air max, dickies, and songkok new era or songkok floating. ahahah! yes this is the trend sadly. imagine songkok ada logo NY then ada sticker new era that states the size. ahaha! confirm laku.

anyways. gigs on 4th, 10th, and 11th.
hydrophobia, lepak on 4th. think its at homeclub.
dantes, eris on 10th. geylang serai?
fbe on 11th. somewhere o.O

the gig on the 10th wear baju raye or whats? come on, whos with me? songkok and samping optional. hahas!

on a side note. habbo dah upgrade. keep giving presents to me. habbo|

xNxExRxDx

2008-09-23T09:11:00.000-07:00

okay. short post.

HAPPY BIRDDAY TO MAS ZAMIR BIN JU / NERD
sorry. but ni gambar btul feeling.

yessss. semoga bird mu makin panjang *line curik dari ajie*
lepas raya, lookingxforward to lepaking, shopping, going gigs and dates with you^^

going JB again this coming thurs. after buke. lucky strikes and maybe limos or pall malls.

cheers

roadtrip

2008-09-20T23:47:00.000-07:00

saturday.

5am.

*sleeping peacefully
*door violently swings open

me : *dazed and shocked
mom : haikel, you're passport is expired!
me : yesss!
mom : you have to go extend it later. go to lavender (ICA Building) and extend it. be there by nine. and it might be packed. its half-day today, closes at two.
me : nooo!
mom : go back to sleep.
me : *sleeps

*door violenty swings open again

mom : Haikel!
me : *shocked* huh, what?
mom : sahur.
me : *annoyed -_-''

8am.

still sleeping at home. phone keeps ringing. house and handphone at intervals. i finally pick up. got scolded for still being asleep. quick shower. left the house. mrt. reach the stupid place. take the stupid escalator. look around at stupid people. holding my stupid passport around dont know what to do on a fucking saturday morning. messaged hanan ask her what to do. she said you'd have to buy to renew. around 70 to 80 bucks. checks wallet ; 7dollars. looking around hopefully for someone to give me directions. then out of the blue corner, weighing at about 40kg and measuring "xxx" in height; where x is unknown, weeman appears. talked awhile. he's there too to extend his passport, got directions like finally. get queue number, wait for turn, roll the dice, miss a turn, wait again and then proceed to counters' 53-60 and wait for turn. end.

**an interesting fact, the lady who did my passport was born on the same date as me.

hers is 09/10/1965
mine is o9/10/1991

oooooohh o.O

then made a phone call to mom, wanted to zangg her. said passport was extended but it takes 3 working days to load the information into the database. then she was like, sigh nevermind then we just go next friday then. at that point my brain was overworking itself. cause if today's trip was delayed, i could go to to fiz's gig and prolly meet up with her...

but! nope i said the truth and she got zang and everyone is happy. reach home sleep again.

mom got home and scolded me. cause she called and i didn't answer plus i wasn't dressed.
got dressed. took train. read the newpaper about the gruesome triple murder in yishun. stupid china people -_-" talked to mom on ways to get to JB and KL. i think i'm already allowed to go on trips to malaysia for gigs and stuff. stopped at kranji cause dad was working; no car, transfer causeway link bus. singapore custom smooth, malaysia's fuck'd up as per normal. imagine beat merchants X 3, full capacity, no fan or air con. for an hour. a big (Y) to you malaysia.

took cabs without meter fare charge.
picked up mom's baju raya(s) X 5
went to angsana mall.

haha. lets talk about the scene in JB. theres a certain shop i used to frequent there.
during my scum days, the shop has lots of nike sb, air jordans, dunk etc. and adidas. also very little converse and vans. macbeths and fred perrys' didn't exist. just now, all the shoes are gone or left aside in a rejected pile. mesh caps(topi floating/streetwear) full stock. alot of macbeths and converse. fred perry(from japan) full stretch. oversized, colorful tees are plenty. caps, both new era and mesh but...

NO SHOES!!!

FTW! no NB reebox nike BAPE? no colorful shoes. just dull vans and converse. hahas. but its all good. got a pair of old skool dickies 3/4 and pants. old skool is without buttons and the side handphone pocket.

ohhh. and mom bought a couple af raya cakes. which i had to carry (Y)

took cab to city square. break-fast at secret recipe. then i went over to this address

MUZIK BOX, G4 Plaza Seni Jalan Wong Ah Fook 80000 Johor Bahru

which was right beside city square. walk around to look for the shop which supposedly carried suicidal clothings merch. then termasok culture shop. case mods and skinhead nyer kedai. cause behind the counter, the shelf, ada steel toes. then british flags. vinyls, beatles nyer matchbox. teringat seseorang. then look for shirts. then saw like a gig shirt. case gig name on the front, bands at the back; only KOTM i know. ask around kene zang cause shop dah tutop. permenantly. back on track. went shopping. shoes and merch xde. then bought a pack of lucky strikes| and cricket melayu(Y) in the mall. whooo. i look 18 or what?

left for home. at singapore customs got stopped cause i put my handphone and lighter in my pocket then go through scanner then beep. then also a caribena i brought along. bag kene check. buah kat tekak. kalau terjumpa tu rokok. saaaaaap! (N) pada aku.

tetapi, nice try sama dia. cause x dapat jumpe and i'm off scott free. balik rumah clean up room WITHOUT being told.

i might be going JB again on sunday(today or whatever) if my dad is free. we'll take the car there this time. that means many place to seal ciggies. woooooo! imagine all the kinds of weird unsmoked ciggies without the disgusting pics. ahahah!

goodmorning. selamat bersahur.
*0424am

haha

2008-09-18T09:01:00.000-07:00

click on image for better view, loves.

fashion show

2008-09-14T06:52:00.000-07:00

" a fashion show. you know what i mean. a bunch of trendy kids ruin my scene."
"you wanna be original, you wanna stand out but you all look exactly the same"
-as quoted by ISHC.

okay. friday and saturday culture bonding. ahahah! nerd and me hanging out with the different cultures of singapore. don't wanna mention. before we busted them to hang out with our friends.
just went for a haircut just now. hair's freaking short. cause i'm starting work soon. thats all. just a short post.

scene?

2008-09-11T09:00:00.001-07:00

okays. today woke up earlier than usual. much earlier. then as usual before anything, online, shower, online again. then mus sent me a link Singapore Scene Kids. go ahead click on it. it'll open in a new browser for your viewing covinience.

yesss. thats singapore's scene kids. haha. i think they're gonna make a friendster group too. errghh!
okay so like just now the whole day about 10 msn buddies what my pm was about. cause i said some stuffs. ahhaha.

okay. well lets talk about the scene then.

okay. i don't know what to say about the profile. cause im shocked a little. *gasps*
norah was in the friends list? then its like erghhh.

i think i MxC did a better job. but however they did talk about hardcore which i cannot accept. cause of total lack or understanding about the genre. thats why i had to talk it out with them. now about this SSK thing, i'm not gonna do anything cause they dont talk about you know what. and please kids, what you're doing is not hxc dancing :) you don't know shitx about it.

now i would like to address the issue of staying low profile and having pride. two contradicting ideas. though i'd still respect both. being low profile is keeping chill, dont show your stripes and go around telling everyone that youre a big fuck in a particular scene. that people may not know you but still however people will respect you cause you've been around long enough or proven your worths. you dont have to wear a band tee and dickies. just wear what feels comfortable.
now pride. you go around to shows and around town wearing imported or local band tee's and dickies. you want to let people you're hardcore. you blast your songs. to let people know you're someone. sigh bad thing is people may refer to you as fanatic.

too much pride may turn to arrogance. then instead of expanding your scene. youre cutting it short. not welcoming and guiding the new generation. one wrong move by the new kids and your view towards them change. you look down on them. they're your next generation like it or not. you have to accept it. you talk about unity? but where's your proof. why don't you put it into action. hardcore cant always revolve around you guys. one day you're gonna turn old. then what if you see the crowd at shows are among you're friends. no youth crew around to carry on the hardcore name?

i'm not hardcore. just a kid who supports the scene. i'm still into dxc for you guys who think i have changed. (:

maybe the dream means tht youre gay

2008-09-10T23:43:00.000-07:00

hah!
azimahhhhh. i know.
hahahaha.
and i'm gonna tell.

k no.
i'll keep shhhhhhhh (:

LCHC lioncityhabboclub

2008-09-10T10:53:00.000-07:00

haha. hxc. lols k not. this is blue zangsters.
does this even need an explanation?

my HabboClub days are over. 31 days well spent. i wont be able to wear it anymore. ):
now im just
yesss. sad. can anyone out there donate me 20credits to join habbo club again ):

the rates are such
20c - 1month
50c - 3month
80c - 6month

Habbo Club is our VIP members-only club. Members enjoy a wide range of benefits, including exclusive clothes, free gifts and an extended Friends List.

you can even wear streetwear in habbo. i'm not gonna show. hahs!
i believe raraaa has also done something like this in her blog. do check it out (:

dreams

2008-09-10T08:22:00.000-07:00

haha. just got off msn with an interesting conversation with azimah.
lols. this was what happened.

azimah sharktopus says:
haikeeeeeeeeel! nice new blogskin
haikalhaikel says:
haha
haikalhaikel says:
thanks
azimah sharktopus says:
and you know what, i had the randomest dream yesterday night involving you and i shall not elaborate further. ^^
haikalhaikel says:
hahah
haikalhaikel says:
what happened?
azimah sharktopus says:
hahaha cannot! malu ahh but got one part we were jaywalking tgt then you got hit by a bus and screamed like you were dying then you got back up and walked to me and something and then we continued jaywalking
azimah sharktopus says:
hahahaha
azimah sharktopus says:
-.-
haikalhaikel says:
HAHAHA
haikalhaikel says:
tell me more
azimah sharktopus says:
haha but i cant tell you the whole thing. its wayyyyy more embarrassing
haikalhaikel says:
tell uhh
azimah sharktopus says:
cannnnnnnnnnnnnoooooot
haikalhaikel says:
its just a dream
azimah sharktopus says:
later you think like "omggg ape siak dekni"
haikalhaikel says:
nvm
haikalhaikel says:
i wont
azimah sharktopus says:
alaaaaaaahhh malu ahhhh
azimah sharktopus says:
hahaha
azimah sharktopus says:
sumpah idky i dreamt that dream
azimah sharktopus says:
oh my god
azimah sharktopus says:
when i woke up i was like "well thats new"

haha. i swear i was laughing hard. then i kept pestering her to tell me what happened. but she said she'd tell me tomorrow. so i'm waiting haha.

august through september

2008-09-10T04:36:00.000-07:00

yes as i have mentioned, alot of shit has happened in between today and the last post.
its like a series of events, bad events. i can't really remember the date all this started.
but here goes.

everything was normal until that day when i lied to my mom about going to the religious classes.
then she found out that i've been missing the past three weeks lessons and a couple more while she was in KL. she got pretty much upset and talked about faith in god and stuff. which i simply replied that i did not believe in. so she cut my allowance half from 10bucks. i got upset so i refused to take the money she left on my table. then it got worse. so she left no cash at all. so its like, for those of you who don't know, i'm staying in braddell and schooling in simei. thats like

braddell-toa payoh-novena-newton-orchard-somerset-dhoby ghaut-city hall.

transfer.

city hall-bugis-lavender-kallang-aljunied-paya lebar-eunos-kembangan-bedok-tanah merah- simei.

heres a map to illustrate
see how far the journey is? and plus i have to get up at 8plus cause school starts at 9 with 30mins allowance. and thats not all. if i drop off at simei, i have like a 15mins walk to school. i mean i'm okay if along the way i have ciggies or friends. so what if it rains? then also around 8 plus the lines towards city hall are in morning rush which means its cramped as fuck. plus i'm carrying a bag with modules, laptop, cables, hoodie.

okay i managed to live with it like for a week. then my iPod died. cause i've dropped it and knocked it a couple of times. it just shows an outline of an iPod on the screen with x x for eyes, a sad smile and an ! in a triangle beside it.
that was it. all my music-full discographies and hidden tracks, pictures, movies, games. everything was gone, together with it my livelyhood. how am i gonna survive the long train rides, the walking journey, having somethhing to do while in the lift when surrounded by girls. okay, since then i stopped going to school. period. cold war with parents. been neglecting some of my friends,sorry. thon around, came home late. gigs, habbo. living life like before. for like the whole month of august cashless and pointless. stole cash secretly from dad to sustain. he hasn't found out yet. they lock their room but i have a key to it. and the letterbox where i awaited the third warning letter. one day my teacher managed to get through to my house number. i don't know how. spoke to my mom. mom called while i was chilling at skygarden. a little surprised but it was expexcted. so she told me to come home. got an earful. then apologise since the fasting moonth was nearby. life back to normal. school was now being the fucktard. teacher called up my parents to discuss about me. then bla bla bla said it would be a miricle if i passed the module test without marks from my assesments and projects. so i quit. and re-enroll next year as january intake. this is where most of the main shits stop.

then gigs. went down to shows. met new people, new friends. understood the different cultures better other from my own. the habbo kids are growing yet still standing strong though iszwan and his legion of gunbound freaks are trying to take over. hahas. been hanging out with nerd and shahfiq alot. baybeats suck this year. i keep getting irritated by shahrul and all his BS about a certain rumour going around about me and a certain someone. during baybeats, been hanging out with the hardcore kids more. sorry guys. won't forget my roots. i miss ragdoll especially my abang whose birthday is coming soon, m4r and n19. miss hanging around with them. then the habbo kids. we all got together through habbo believe it or not. then fasting month break fast with them at geylang. hahas. everyone and their typical BS and being able to relate real life to the habbo world.

thanks to fatwan. because of him asking me how to print screen(which i have no clue) it got me back to blogging again.

and i've been blog-hopping when i stumbled across a couple of posts about me. about being immature and stuff. okay the reasons are up there. its up to you to believe it or not. i've had a shitty month and i have no reasons to fake it. and about the friends talking behind my back part, i'm not sure who they are or why they have to. but maybe you see them as my friends while they're maybe just friends whom im not close with. so whatever really.

okay thats all.

where's the x?

2008-09-09T13:19:00.000-07:00

woooooo! 430am and blog re-done again. hahas.
alot has happened between this and the last post.
anyways will blog about it tomorrow if i have time.
i'm tired of re-coding the html of this blog.
and my name still blinks "haikalhaikel" to haikalxhaikel"
hahas. okay got to sahur now. byes :)

re: done

2008-08-14T13:41:00.000-07:00

yes. i've re-did everything. yes its plain. so? at least my name blinks at the tab :)
stop stealing codes. hah!

fonts

2008-08-14T12:03:00.000-07:00

fuck. im mad. just now lepak roof with all + nerd. nerd bring lappy so online jap. then check my blog. dapat tahu zang maha zang. the font im using apparently does not show up in everyones browser. sedih pe. so my name comes out in caps but font pepekcore. the one im using and seeing is coolxshits compared to what you guys are seeing now. errrgh! nevermind. changing layout soon. fuck this.

kids kids kids

2008-08-13T05:02:00.000-07:00

okay. today school. starting today i promise myself to come early. but then what are promises meant for anyways? class okay as per usual. mendaks. then today two guys sound aku. lol. k no. they tegur aku. first was at stadium. second was at forum.
sorry i didn't catch their names.

first conversation.
the guy : eh kau budak gig kan?
me: huh? gig maner?
the guy: gig scape park uh.
me : scape park? ohh. scape indoor gig eh?
the guy : uhh yesss.
me : which one?
the guy : ...
me : ohhh. yang gig metal. yang bising-bising tu ehh.
the guy : uhh. kau yang mosh kan? members kau pun banyak skolah ni kan?
me : yes.
the guy : okk. see you around. take care.

second conversation.
the guy : eh kau haikal eh?
me : huh? haikal mana?
the guy : laaa. haikal hardcore.
me : huh? *stunned
the guy : kau kenal *** Star?
me : uhh. -_-" (part ni gantung)
the guy : laaa betul la. kau haikal.
me : uhhh. ye okay bye.

yes the first one aku boleh respect uhh. dier chills. i think it was the RE M4R N19 JD gig at The Lab. forgot gig name.
the second one to say my name and hardcore in one sentence. errrrrrr! geram je. nama aku boleh busuk siols. imagine they got into trouble with whoever uh. then they say they kenal haikal hardcore. whatthefuck. haikal hardcore? saper siol tu anak? seriously. nanti aku kene drag in into their mess.

im not hardcore in anyway. i just go to their shows as an interest and to support the music scene.

favour kepada those out there who only know me by name don't label me or classify me. cause in a way its insulting to me. and i'm no big fuck in any scene. so no point knowing me and telling or showing who i am to all your friends if the only thing you know is my name.

cheers :)

weekends.

2008-08-11T07:41:00.000-07:00

saturday
okay saturday knocked out for the most part. until like 6pm. woke up call eveyrone to find plans for the day. in the end made my way down to bukitpanjang to sleepover at irwans house. reached around 9pm. mizam, rara, ajie, iszwan were there. minutes later joined by nosey. continue their 2day thon of movie marathons, winningeleven9. then MLB then WWE. then 6am take care.
ohhh and to singapura happy national day.
semoga rakyat-rakyat mu tak bhuey mu. tarik CPF and migrate. thats my plan^^

sunday
got back from irwans house then straight habbo. cause habbo opened. then habbo all the way till nerd call nak meet. thats around 11. plan nak meet at 12 at cityhall smoking bay. dapat tahu 12pm still at home online. quick change then out. reached cityhall almost 1pm. standard janji melayu. follow nerd around to look for hoodie. cause dia now orang kaya baru. topman and river island to fashion. so plan nak proceed marinasquare. then stengah jalan flashandsplash. so nerd buy from there instead. hoodie prangai DIY and psychadillic trance. went penisula look for patches. shop closed. met lights out. proceed arts house. dapat tahu ghost town. no kids anywhere but us. so we play techdeck yang nerd belanja. then came rym, azimah, fahfa. then lepaks till full force came down. DIE, RE, M4R, N19. back to those days. dont want comment on the show. want to know build time machine. entry free thanks to imran. lights out last band. sumpah part comeback kid kecoh. chills. macs. home.

monday
faris and yaqin thon my place. buat bende bodoh which i didn't partake in. habbo. habbo kecoh.
saturday kids, music, the scene, ragdoll semuer keluar thanks to volatilefury pukimek kau. never kutok scene faggs. shahfiq, rara, faris, irwan, azri, nerd all mengamok. i slept finally after 24hours active. yaqin movie marathon alone. 12pm all left. 4pm parents came back from brunei. i left to lepak at tempat classified. invites only. nerd, kimie, fiq, jason, fahfa were there too. lepak. curik wireless. main guitar. habbo politics. scene politics. police came check it out then left. then we split ep. take care.
thanks kepada mereka yang sanggup turon from all over singapura. this friday cage. till then.

habbo

2008-08-08T04:48:00.000-07:00

okay. i didn't sleep last night. watch movies again.
errrgh. need a life. at 6plus called irwan,faris,classmates to see if it was a holiday today. dapat tahu not. dapat tahu its 8am and class is at 830am. so fuck.

i logged in to habbo today cause no one else was online and co-incidentally it was national day/olympics parade.
appledoe, all the staff and mods were there. new furni out soon. greek marble stuff.
bilik spam rabak by all the rest. bawak olympic torch -_-" around like 4 rooms. then finally into last room wher faggs kept turning the flame on when its supposed to be off and off when its supposed to be on. appledoe naik bingit then said "asshole" haha. perangai hotel manager.

yes. i'd like to give a shoutout to my habbo peeps

-HOOBS
-fcuky10!
-!allyalien!
-brocore
-mirzansachok
-noseyBABI
-xNxExRxDx
-xLEGOx
-xJasonist
-xFahfax
-xCIKOXCOREx
-xASTROx
-tahunahu
-shakimie
-sebjubs
-raraaa
-nahutahu
-fcuky10
-fafad
-fatwanny
-fahfakills
-euphorya
-exr
-elizaaa
-eeeee10!
-dyno92
-Yakam
-ShittoZiq
-Vampee
-TakBoncet
-PREDAKING
-polis999
-rattack
-JonasLee
-Ferdinand
-FizGrindpants
-shafreakRT
+all [S.G Airforce] veterans
sincerely, emobot aka dxckid aka xHHx -_-"

up and running.

2008-08-07T01:59:00.001-07:00

okay. bloggy is finally up thanks to my classmate, lizz, who showed me the ways to revert to classic template. fuck the new blogger xml shits. slept at 6 this morning. woke up at 5. haha. sedih pe tak dapat thon rumah abang irwana with the rest.

anyways, here's a letter from my teacher regarding my attendance, through email.

HAIKEL, ur attendance for ur classes has reached its limits. if u want to continue to study in ITE pls make sure u come to school.

and i need MC/letters for the dates below, so that i can excuse u for lessons. if not u will not be able to sit for exams in 3 weeks time.
(21,23,24,30 july)

Good Luck!
miss winnie

hah! i don't get it. whats the good luck part at the end for?
yeahs. ohh and she's been calling my dad, irwan, sampai cerite overseas semuer keluar.
just waiting for third warning letter then debarred.
haha. mom was not working today and she didnt know i was home. when she found out, it was like fourpm already? haha. had to lie, saying its about national day related.

haha. anyways thats all for now. hungry as fuck now. byes.